Seriously?!

It’s been three months??? THREE MONTHS?!  (Well, two and 1/2…) I can’t believe it’s been that long.  I won’t make excuses.  I apologize for the lengthy hiatus.  And now lets move on…

So, allergy season is pretty much over and got out of it pretty much unscathed.  The only problem now is that I’ve had pain in my neck I’m sure due to stress and with my paranoid self, I’m freaking out over it.  It’s gotten better but at first I thought it was all in my head but I’m not quite so sure.  It’s definitely better but it’s lasted about three weeks or so now and it’s almost literally driving me crazy. I’ve been taking Ibuprofen and trying a free 10 minute meditation app.  Do they help? A little bit I suppose.  I’m feeling better than I was before starting both.  Anyway, apparently my mom had the same issue and the doctor told her about a pain management class or something like that that might be covered at least by her health insurance so I’m going to send a message to my doctor and see if I can get something like that or something else that can help with the pain in my neck.

Anyway, live has been a blur I guess.  I can’t even think of a whole lot that’s been going on.  I stopped with the training for jogging because I keep getting pain in my legs so I wanted to take a step back, get through allergy season then start back up on a trail instead of on the treadmill.  I even went to Fleetfeet where they fit me for shoes and it hasn’t fully helped.  So, when I talk with my doctor I’m adding that on the list to see if she has some suggestions for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to see Maleficent with my Disney group and we had a lot of fun.  I won a pin and I’m working on a post about that over on my Disney blog. This weekend, we’re having the Lunch Buddies event and I am making a Captain America shield themed box for the person I got.

I’ve been getting together quite a bit with my aunt over the last few months as well.  I helped her get a new TV and Bluray Player and set both up on 3 different occasions (the middle one I forgot the cord to hook up the Bluray player…) and I set her up on Facebook.  It’s been good getting to visit with her more than I have been.  I made a promise to myself to not back out of things like Disney meeting events, going out with friends, seeing my aunt, etc. and it’s been quite beneficial for me.

My brother and his fiancé are getting married on July 30th in a small wedding and I’m helping out a bit with decorations so that’s something I’m looking forward to.

I officially cancelled cable and internet with AT&T and signed up with Comcast with basic cable and high speed internet and the plan happens to come with HBO.  My mom wasn’t crazy about it at first but we’re living with it.  I set up Netflix and signed up with Hulu+ so I can watch both on my TV, and we got my mom a Bluray player for her birthday and got her bedroom TV from storage and set that up in her bedroom so she had something to watch in there too.  She hasn’t gotten used to Netflix or Hulu+ yet but we’re working on it.

I’m still at Weight Watchers kind of doing the same but getting better with the eating.  I’m not quite back yet but I’m hoping I lost weight when I weigh in tomorrow.

I think that’s about it.  I have a couple of recipes I wanted to share so I’ll start working on those soon and get back into posting on a regular basis.  Sorry for the long break!

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Weight Watchers

My meeting went well last Thursday.  I’m down another pound. I’m glad I’m going in the right direction again.  I just need to keep at it.

So, something you probably don’t know about me is that I have physically loathed any form or running or jogging my whole life… I’m talking with a passion.  I HATED PE and they forced you to run in PE and on the days you did sports I sucked at that too… I’m very coordinatingly challenged.  It’s pretty sad.  Anyway, the shocker part is the last couple of weeks I have toyed with trying a Couch to 5K program… Not their official one, I have an app that I want to review once I’ve learned all of its features, and I can start with that since it’s similar enough, and you can modify it to what you can handle.

Trust me, that statement above I would NEVER believe I would feel not even a month ago… I would sooner have thought that my future self would learn to love tomatoes, or change my political views… It’s quite a shocker for me.  What motivated me to try is some of the people in my Disney club.  These people have done several of the 1/2 marathons at Disneyland as well as different runs around Sacramento.  It has motivated me enough that if I can stick with it, I’d like to do a Disney marathon with them.  It looks like a blast and you get a medal after.  It’ll take me some time to get there and for now I’m just starting from the very first step so I’m curious to see if I decide to say screw it after the first minute.

I’m not going to force myself to jog if I really don’t enjoy it.  I love to walk and use the elliptical and other stuff and that’s fine with me.  It’s still exercise. I made my first attempt today after work but the app I have that’s sort of a fitness trainer was going pretty slow for what I believe was the jogging part and I felt stupid so I ended up switching to walking… I know I shouldn’t feel that way but self-confidence is an adjustment.  Anyway, I’m going to give it a try tomorrow.

I did have a bingy day after work so I need to get back on track.  I have two more days until my weigh in and I want to keep heading in the right direction. I need to have the right foods in my home I guess.  Or eat a handful of almonds and some fruit or vegetables after or something.  I need to find a way to keep from binge eating after my workouts… I hate this feeling.

Anyway, I’m going to keep at it.  I’ll go back tomorrow afterwork and give it another try and try to force myself to not think about what other people thing because honestly, I’m 99% sure most of them don’t even notice. I’ll let you know how it goes next time!

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Weight Watchers Weigh In and Catch Up on the Last Two Weeks

It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I don’t see it getting any lighter.  Last Saturday, I went to a Disney Club meeting which was one I was looking forward to.  This month they had the author of Disneyland: Seen and Unseen, he’s local, and it was a great meeting.  He was very friendly and answered a lot of questions.  He’s also working on another book about Disneyland, a DCA book, and if those two do well enough, he’s contemplating books about Disney World.  It was interesting to learn a little bit about what goes in to publishing a book. After the presentation, we played a where in the park Disneyland game.  We were split into 4 groups and had to guess where close up pictures of different parts of Disneyland were taken.  It was so fun!

After that, I met Gina and her sister in Folsom at the outlets and ended up getting a different shrug for a dress I’m wearing to my friend’s wedding in April which I feel more comfortable in.

Sunday, I got cash at SaveMart on my way to the Farmer’s Market and grabbed some granola bars because I forgot to eat breakfast.  They have two RedBox kiosks there and for the hell of it, I thought I’d check to see if they had Catching Fire, I saw it on the first one and immediately grabbed it only to double check and see that it was the first Hunger Games movie… SO, I took it back and by some miracle they had a copy of Catching Fire in the other kiosk and paid another $1.30 for the correct one.

After my brief visit to SaveMart, I walked around the farmer’s market with my Kenyan made basket, got a 5 pound bag of apples (only to find out that the vast majority of them are old and crappy so I’m making apple sauce!), a 5 pound bag of clementines, a 1 pound bag of roasted and salted pistachios for my mom, and a bunch of carrots for the corned beef and cabbage. After that, I ran home, put on my work out clothes and threw the clothes I was originally wearing in my bag, and went to the gym.  I got in a 20 minute session on the elliptical.

After that, I went to Whole Foods in Folsom to walk around a bit, get lunch, and a few things.  I got a 1 lb jar of raw local honey (trying it out for allergy purposes) which I tried on some whole wheat bread at lunch today and I really liked it, a bag of organic roasted salted soy nuts, 3 baskets of organic strawberries, some spring water, California roll and salad for a late lunch, and a couple of other things that my mind is blanking on at the moment.  Then I went to the See’s next door to get my mom a few pieces and some little pops since she gives See’s up for lent and thought she could have a couple that day.

By then, I was almost ready to meet up with Nick and Gina to go to Trader Joes for food for Monday but I had a few minutes until they got there so I ran into Target and got body wash and deodorant.  They had Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse body wash/shampoo (for kids obviously) by Method on sale and I absolutely and without shame got the Minnie Mouse soap!  It smells like Strawberry candy!  Method is one of the more Earth friendly products so that was a HUGE added bonus.  I don’t think I would have gotten it had it not been.

By then, they decided that the two Nicks needed hair cuts so I met them to go do that, then we ran into Walmart (I don’t personally shop there for ethical reasons but Gina needed some things. I want to add too I don’t judge people who do.  It really is much cheaper and I’m not forcing my personal beliefs on anyone.), then got to Trader Joe’s where I got a TON of crap.  I got corned beef, some iced green tea with blueberry and pomegranate (I think), green tea bags for work, Ak-Mak crackers since they are whole wheat, shampoo and conditioner (they smelled fantastic and wanted to give some of their home goods a try), body wash (I forgot I got the Method stuff and might bring this back, or wait until I run out of the other stuff), bananas (can’t beat 19 cents per banana), organic celery, a Heather plant for my mom, chocolate crunch bars for my mom and Nick, sharp cheddar squares, some stuff for breakfast and lunch for the week, and I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting…

Needless to say it was a big shopping day but I have enough food for at the very least this week.  Unfortunately it was one of those pay periods where you need to replenish a lot of necessities and at least their shampoo and conditioner were fairly cheap at $2.99 per bottle.

After the shopping spree, we went to Gina’s for dinner and my mom came up as well.  They made breaded chicken but left some non breaded for me and my mom whipped up mashed potatoes.  It was a nice night.  My mom got tipsy so we left her car there for Nick to drive back and I drove her home.

The work week went by FAST which is always a good thing.  Nick and Gina came over for Corned Beef and Cabbage on St. Patrick’s day along with Nicky and Gina’s niece Gracie.  I got them a few Dollar Section things at Target for St. Patrick’s Day and they watched SpongeBob the Movie in my room while we watched Catching Fire and visited.  We only ended up paying attention to 1/2 of the movie so Gina and I decided to go see it at the mall nearby that shows movies that are borderline out on DVD.  It’s only $4 per person which is great.

I had a teeth cleaning appointment on Tuesday and Frozen came out on DVD/BluRay and I got my copy along with some lithographs which I will share on my Disney fan website in the next day or two as well.

Wednesday I met Gina and her sister at the mall to visit and we had dinner at Red Robin.  I got the Chicken Ensanada Platter because I decided to add no white flour to my list of Lenten sacrifices because I’ve been out of hand with my eating and I think it’s helping.

I found out that I lost 2 pounds this week and I know a lot of it had to do with the fact that I’m not eating highly processed foods with white flour in it.  I haven’t been 100% perfect but obviously it helped immensely.  I got another ActiveLink at Weight Watchers since they were having a $5 off sale and I haven’t found my Fitbit charger in weeks… So when I do, I’m going to use both because the Fitbit keeps track of how many steps you take so you have an idea of how well you’re doing.  The ActiveLink tells you how many points you earn in a day with everything you do but you don’t know until you plug it in to your computer.  So they’ll both serve their own purposes.

I’ll go into further detail in the next day or two about what the ActiveLink is but for now I am watching Frozen!

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Weight Watchers and the Lenten Season’s Back Again

I actually managed to lose .8 lbs last Thursday (I’ve been writing this post since last Thursday!) and I’m trying to lower my sugar consumption as it’s getting overboard and I know the more I eat, the more I want.  It’s frustrating and I really do want to eat healthy but it’s hard when there are temptations around everywhere and you’re addicted to food… I was doing well so I know I can get back there.

So the meeting was about moving more.  I’ve been doing fairly well at it.  I walk at least 4 days per week at work and at least twice (usually the morning break and lunch) and try to get in three, it just depends on how busy I am.  It helps to have a walking partner.  I am working on being better at going to the gym.  I’ve been going about twice a week so I know I need to up that.  The meeting more specifically was about getting up and moving around for 5 minutes every hour but as a person that works at her desk all day, it’s not really possible to do. HOWEVER, I do work on little things at work so I’m not seeing around all day.  When I print things out I get up and pick up each piece I print out, or print documents at a printer a little farther away.  I go to the downstairs bathroom and use the stairs.  One idea I got at the meeting was to drink more water, that way you have to use the restroom more so it forces you to get up more.

Other than work, more ideas we got were to park farther away when going to a store, take a walk around the store before picking up the items you need, take more trips to the car when bringing your groceries in.  Walk around your home while the commercials are on, or just walk in place if you don’t have much room.  Also, if you have those stair steppers or a Wii board, you can use that too.  I have Wii Fit and they had a setting where your controller would make ticking noises and you could go for 5, 10 or 20 (might have been other options) minutes of stair stepping with the board and it lets you watch TV while you’re doing it.  I should get back into that…  I know there are other ways of getting more walking in but my brain isn’t working right now!

For Lent I decided I am going to give up soda.  I also want to go to mass more often as I haven’t really been going since I moved out of my aunt’s house and I know I feel better when I go.  As Catholics, we don’t eat meat on Fridays during lent so I’ll have to figure out some things to have for those days.  I see a lot of egg and tuna salad sandwiches in my future…

We had a pretty busy weekend.  I got a dress a couple of weeks ago for my friend’s wedding and we went to the mall nearby with Nick and Gina and I got a couple of tops and a shrug to go over the dress HOWEVER, I might return it because I’m not sure I like the length or the size… My mom and I also went to brunch with a couple of my dad’s cousins that were visiting for the day and it was nice to catch up with them.

Other than that, I’m just trying to get used to the time change.  This morning when I woke up to get ready for work it was just too eerie and dark… Didn’t help that it was raining.  I can’t wait until it gets light again in the mornings… I do have a couple of reviews coming up as well as some recipes I am contemplating on sharing.  One is a french toast bake that I loved so that one is a definite share but the other meals were just okay… So look out for those in the next few days!

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Weight Watchers Meeting- Portion Pro

It’s been another rough week foodwise. I made a casserole and eggs (which were so dry!) for the week but once I got home I would consume anything within eyesight… I got into this rut and now I’m paying for it. I both need and want to eat better because eating a bunch of crap makes me feel like crap.  Luckily today is pay day so I’m working on what I want to make for the week and healthy snacks to have for moments that I need to eat something.

I need to start eating less saturated fat too because my Cholesterol is on the high side (even though my HDL and LDL levels look great) and I’ve been trying to integrate exercise into my life so I need to lessen my intake of butter and even though I hate saying it, lessen the meat consumption… I’m not like a he-man meat eater, but I should eat more fish and beans for meals and less steak. Again, I don’t eat steak or ground beef every day, but I still want to lessen it.  Also, not that I’m obsessed with cheese but I’ve notice I’ve been eating a lot of it in the dishes I am making…

The eating showed this week as I gained another 2 pounds… It’s not only affected my weight, but also I think it’s affecting my emotions…  This week has been kind of a scary week for me.  I have had these irrational worries of my mom just dropping dead at any moment, or me having something deathly wrong with me post surgery and I had a good talk with my therapist about it and I told her if I can, I really don’t want to go back on an anti-depressant so she told me to try exercising for an hour straight and that cardio is best so I am going to work my way up to doing an hour at the gym.  Not all on the elliptical but I’ll work my way up at least…

So this week’s meeting was about portions and the importance of having a food scale.  I love my food scale and use it for quite a bit.  Weight Watchers came out with a food scale a week or two ago but I have the one before that and I am perfectly happy with it.  You can find out how many points something is by looking up the foods loaded into the memory of the scale but I just use it to weigh things.  I should try out that feature though.  The new one just has a bigger screen that’s now backlit and an easier way to look up foods you’re weighing… Pretty great feature additions but I’m happy with the one I have.

I find personally when you weigh portions instead of measure, you end up getting a little more for your serving so if I am packing up some pretzels or crackers or whatever for a snack, I’ll weigh it instead of measure or count out the amount because you get at least a couple more pieces.  For recipes I will always measure because you need more precise measurements (especially when baking) but the scale definitely is a key to my portion control.

Anyway, that’s about it from me.  I’m so glad the week is over.  This day was kind of depressing because of the rain.  It was stormy and dark out and I am so glad we’re getting rain here in California but it still can be kind of depressing.

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Things Not to Say to a Fat Girl

OK before the air gets sucked out of the room, I want to start off saying I know this is a very sensitive subject and highly controversial, but I was reading an article that a friend of mine posted from Cosmo of all places about things not to say to a fat girl (You might want to read the article first because I’m just giving my 2 cents on the list and not saying what they said) and I wanted to speak a little on the subject and how I personally have been affected by most (not all) of what was listed and just generally speak out about how women are treated in society period.

I do want to warn you I may start venting a bit because some of the people who have had “concerns” for me are my own relatives.

  1. You’re not fat!- First off, no one has EVER said that to me so maybe I’m too fat to have someone say that to me to make me feel better.  I have had similar comments like, “you’re not that bad.” But I get the gist of what they’re saying.  We need to stop making fat a negative word.  It’s a descriptor.  Try switching it with another word and you can see how ridiculous it sounds.  For example, “That girl is so blonde!” Get it?
  2. You have such a pretty face -  Or how about, “you’re pretty now, just think about how gorgeous you’d be if you lost some weight.” I have had RELATIVES say this to me.  It’s funny to me that relatives are more vocal than friends are… Do you really think these statements make us feel better about ourselves? The answer most definitely is no!
  3. Oooh, Let’s go to Bebe!!!- I think Cosmo thinks that this is an actual statement, but it never has been in my circle of friends.  ONCE when I was a teenager I was with a friend who wanted to shop in there and I felt like a blob!  If you haven’t read the article, read it for this specific one, her reply is hilarious!
  4. Do you really need that candy bar?- Ok, so reading this one too makes me realize I got off kind of lucky because I never had this one either.  I find it atrocious that someone would have the gall to say it though.  I do remember watching Supernatural on Netflix to see why it’s such a big friggin fandom on Pinterest and being appalled that one of the main characters said something similar TO A CHUBBY BOY ON HALLOWEEN! I felt sick to my stomach.  They also have said other things about fat women and female virgins and if it weren’t for the comments like that, I might have really liked the show. People say such great things about it and I have watched it due to being vested the storyline and wanting to figure out what happens but I stopped it at about 2 or 3 seasons ago… (SEE THE DAMNED TANGENTS COMING IN! I’ll try to keep them at bay but that has been eating me alive for a long time now!)
  5. You’d look better if you were healthier.- See response to 2 above… And I’d like to add, how do you know I’m not healthy? Are you my doctor? Have you seen my lab results or medical history? No!
  6. Ugh! I’m so fat!- I have heard this plenty of times and I have felt on occassion, well if you think you’re fat, what the hell do you think about me? But I have grown to realize that society has beat us into thinking we just have to be negative about ourselves and being fat is “the worst thing you can be.” So it’s not that they think badly of you because you’re bigger but we’re all so used to saying bad things about ourselves. And from personal experience, I have only seen this happen with women, never with men…
  7. Have you ever tried INSERT EXERCISE HERE? Have you ever heard of exercise at all? Do you come from this planet? That’s how they worded it… But I get more of comment #10 below so I’ll get more into it there.
  8. Oooh! Can I borrow that skirt sometime?- No one on God’s green earth has asked to borrow my clothes.  I am shocked someone would ask especially when they’re of a different size than me.  Plus, I don’t really know what I’m doing as far as fashion is concerned.  I really need to win the lottery so I can get a personal shopper…
  9. Have you lost weight???- I get this ALL THE TIME, however, it’s because I have indeed lost weight.  And you all know it if you’re been reading my blog.  So, it’s not annoying to me.
  10. You know, Atkins worked for my aunt.-  I have gotten get this exact comment (but it wasn’t a hint that I should do it, it was just family updates, oh so and so is doing this) and I have gotten again from relatives, similar comments that get my blood boiling.  I had one person tell me that “You can’t lose weight if you don’t go on a diet.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! That got me SEETHING! I had another relative say something along the lines of, “I see your pictures on Facebook and…” pause and a look on the face that says “you’re going to die any minute because you’re such a fat piece of crap and you’re clearly so unhealthy and I’m so “worried” about you.” And the funny thing is these people have NO BUSINESS telling me how to live my life.  I was told these things after losing between 15 and 25 pounds.  It was like the weight I did lose didn’t count.  You’re still a fat piece of crap…
  11. I am just trying to help.- But you aren’t helping.  You think you are, but you’re making it worse…
  12. This was a bonus and actually a positive comment that is okay to say… You should be a Plus Sized Model. - Thing is, no one has ever said this to me either.  I do get told I’m pretty by my relatives or close friends but that’s about it.  I once was told (no joke) by a guy giving out samples at Costco, “You’re pretty, but you know you’re mom’s more beautiful right?” THAT WAS SAID TO ME! Thanks bud for the back handed compliment and for setting me back at least 10 years trying to feel better about myself! Really appreciate it!  I get told all the time that my mom could have been (and can still be) a model.

Basically, we need to treat everyone with the same respect we expect from others.  We need to stop putting people down for what society finds as a shortcoming. Also, it is NOT OKAY to put down someone just because they are skinny.  It goes both ways!  And it’s not just weight or looks but also skin color, height, social status, having anything that is different from the media’s view of what is “normal.”

So instead of putting people down, why don’t we worry more about what we are contributing to this world? Go serve food to the homeless instead of automatically assuming they are going to use any money they get on drugs. Try giving someone a complement instead of an insult just to get a few laughs.  We should just try to be better people.

Okay, I’m going to stop.  I really hope I don’t get a lot of flack for this post but I really needed to vent. And fyi, I am okay with suggestions and comments on this blog.  That’s what this blog is for.  I am trying to lose weight for health reasons and trying to be healthier in general and that makes this a place for that kind of discussion.

Okay, I’m off!

Posted in Motivation, Plus Sized Empowerment | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Fun’s Over

Okay, I had a 3 week lapse that was frankly a blur of binge eating which resulted in a 4.2 pound weight gain.  My bad… But I’m back!  I’ve been getting back to walking with my friend at work roughly 2 times per day and I finally went to the gym that I signed up for almost a month ago…

I finally got over a head cold that wiped me out but luckily only lasted a few days. I was eating a lot of fruits with vitamin C, and drinking a shot (my brother’s idea) sized amounts of EmergenCy (I don’t know how it’s actually spelled…) by putting a packed of the fizzy grossness into a small amount of water so you can choke it down as quickly as possible. It really isn’t that bad, but I’d rather do it that way.  I also was drinking a TON of green tea and water and taking Advil Cold & Sinus and I’m thinking the combination might have helped me get of this bug faster.

Anyway, I bit the bullet last night and went to a Weight Watchers meeting where they talked about emotional eating which was something I needed to hear.  I know I’ve talked about the subject before but it’s a tough thing to have to deal with.  Aside from being an emotional eater, food is my “drug of choice” as my therapist says.  It is something that is on my mind 24 hours a day.  Even when you’re trying to lose weight (which those of us in this category usually are) you are obsessing even more.  Your mind is constantly going okay so this is what you’re having for breakfast and around this time you can eat your snack but try to wait until you’re really hungry for it even though I want to stuff my face RIGHT NOW.  It goes on like that for me pretty much constantly.  It’s annoying as hell, but it’s my cross to bear and hopefully something that I can overcome or at the very least manage.  It gets pretty exhausting!

I wanted to try having a smoothie straight for breakfast this morning to see how I do on them instead of having one with something else. It didn’t work.  I was starving after roughly an hour even though I had 1 cup of fat-free greek yogurt in it.  It was a very good smoothie but I need food to keep me at bay for the morning.  Eggs in particular are my go to protein for the morning.  They are the only thing that seems to last for me.  So coming up with egg casseroles and other egg dishes seems to be what I need to do.  Luckily you can make something like that and have it for the rest of the week and you don’t have to worry about making anything in the morning. So my goal is to find more egg recipes and have eggs and a smoothie in the morning for breakfast.

Today was my first day at my new gym.  I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and I already walked about 40ish minutes at work so I did pretty well with the exercise today.  I ended up walking 12,500 steps and earned 8 activity points for the day. Hopefully I’ll work up to more resistance and going for longer.  But for now that’s about all I can do.  And that’s okay, and right now, I’m absolutely beat so I need to get to sleep.  Tomorrow is my baby bro’s 25th birthday and I’m getting up early to go back to the gym with my mom and then we’ll spend the day with him and his fiancé and her son.

Good night!

Posted in Life, Motivation, Weight Watchers | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments